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No Better (Party Dad Forever)

from We Love to Live in Hell by Bug Heaven

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lyrics

Your song's always stuck in my head about patterns and sweaters
Every time I think that I'm getting better, you show up in my dreams
We're a little drunk and more than a little stoned
And you don't speak to me, you just sit and nod along
I wish I could make you laugh because I think I miss your laugh the most
Thank god Tommy got that shit on video

It's that empty couch where you used to sleep
It's this quiet you I never knew, the only you I see in my dreams
When I'm awake at night, which is almost all the time now, I barely sleep
I play back all those songs we wrote just so I can hear you sing

I pull your records from their sleeves, they still smell like patchouli
I kind of hope they do forever, and I'm still not getting better
If I'm being honest, I'm barely keeping my shit together
I'm tired of this weather and I just wanna leave
You used to play me this album sitting over at your old apartment
Saying "dude, it's so good, come on, how can you not love this?"
So I snagged it for myself when we were splitting up your stuff
I figured it deserved another chance if you loved it that much

It's still not my favorite, but I'll play it when I miss you sometimes

Now it's this empty house where I can never sleep
I hear you snoring on the couch somehow louder than the blaring TV
I shake myself awake, I know that it's just a dream
And there's still no one here but the devil and me
There is nobody here but the devil and me
There is still no one here but me

Timing is everything

Now you're in my headphones stuck on repeat
Telling me that timing is everything
But goddammit you couldn't have picked a worse time to leave

J, it's been months now, does it ever get better?
I swear I haven't smiled for real since September
And I know it's not your fault
It feels wrong to feel angry
But most nights I feel like I'm going fucking crazy
And I'm not scared to die cause it feels like already left
When you did
I'm just out floating around through what's left of my life
Always talking to you in my head

credits

from We Love to Live in Hell, released January 7, 2021

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Bug Heaven Omaha, Nebraska

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